Going through my personal quest for answers I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what a mid-life crisis feels like? But then, I quickly told myself “who’s mid-life?!”
What I realized is that not matter where you’re at in your growth you’ll inevitably be faced with questions. I find that when you’re not growing, you don’t question much. You simply go about the business of existing.
If on the other hand you’re someone that lives life instead of watching life from the sidelines you ask questions.
Lots of questions.
And questions are good because it helps to weed out the nonsense that gets in the way of your truth. But sometimes we either ask the wrong question and get no closer to the right answer or we overstay our welcome in the questioning party.
While questioning if you should expand your business, if that partnership is right for you, if you do in fact deserve to dream big are all understandable, waiting for someone to approve your next move is a strategy in futility.
Let me share a personal story (excerpted from my book, The MavHErick™ Mind) to illustrate what I mean…
NOTE: Although I’m sharing a personal anecdote, there is a powerful business lesson here.
When I was growing up, I was given a great deal of responsibility.
As the eldest of three children, my mother turned to me for support and assistance. I took my role as the eldest of her tribe seriously.
I remember one incident in particular. It was Christmas sometime in the early 70’s. My stepfather was a chronic alcoholic and holiday’s were an especially challenging time for us all.
On this particular evening, we avoided his drunken rage by leaving the house. With nothing more than the clothes on our backs and a few dollars in her handbag, my mother, two younger brothers and I walked the Hollywood strip. If you’ve ever been to this part of California at night, you can imagine who we were keeping company with.
A flashing red ‘vacancy’ sign lured us into a red velvet room. I had never seen so much red décor in one place…still haven’t to this day!
While my mother, in broken English, tried to explain to the night manager that she needed a room that could accommodate the four of us, I stood aside against the wall along with my brothers.
Listening to my mother struggle to communicate with this man was heart breaking. And in return, this fellow was a real dog (and I’m being polite here). He showed no compassion and as a young girl having fled an already abusive home, I couldn’t stand by silently witnessing another round of abuse.
So, instructing my brothers to stay put, I marched up to the counter and translated for my mother. Although I was young – not yet a teen – I possessed a MavHERick™ spirit (although I didn’t know it as that at the time) and stared the night manager straight in the eye.
In a steady and calm voice, I let him clearly know our needs, how much money we had to spend and politely asked for a room that could accommodate us all. The night manager was markedly taken aback that a little girl was guiding this transaction but that night, we had a warm bed and some sense, albeit slight, of solace.
My youth could have certainly been viewed as a disadvantage – no one wants to take direction from a kid, let alone a scrawny girl – but like Jackie Kennedy, I used what appeared to be a disadvantage as a means of getting what I wanted, which was to be heard.
It was also a demonstration in leadership.
In that moment, I possessed an assured attitude knowing it was necessary to be taken seriously. The transaction would not get done otherwise. It was then I learned the value of smart posturing.
Women, MavHERick™ women in particular, are natural leaders but rarely see themselves that way and instead brush off their leadership abilities as part of every day living.
Standing there, watching my young mother struggle to communicate with the night manager, I hoped (prayed) that someone would step in and help us. Couples walked by, men, women and no one offered to lend a hand. No one was willing to take on the role of leader.
That’s when I decided that if no one else would, I would. A leader is someone that is willing to do what others won’t and do so with empathy and understanding.
A MavHERick™ leader doesn’t let fear or shame get in her way. Instead, she pushes her shoulders back, holds her head high, takes a deep breath and does the thing no one else will without taking away anyone’s power.
Interestingly enough, when you push your fear and shame aside, you have the opportunity to become someone others will follow. Leadership doesn’t take special training.
As a pre-teen, I certainly did not have special training with the title of leadership wrapped around it. What I had was a terrain that required me to search deep within myself and release my inner power to get results.
So the next time you ask yourself, “should it be me?” or question your ability to try something new flip the switch. Ask yourself instead the REAL question, which is “why shouldn’t it be me?”
Better yet, skip the question altogether take charge of your own destiny and just go for it!
What will you take charge of today?
Until next time…
Love and thanks,
Liz
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